MESSAGE

       FROM THE

    WORD

                                               ADVICE TO GODLY WIVES      

                                                          Colossians 3:18 

SERIES:  Colossians                                                                                          Message # 19

          With the confirmation hearings of Judge Sam Alito for the U.S. Supreme Court making national news, the role of moral standards once again took center stage.  Front and center opposing Judge Alito were many of the large feminist organizations.  Abortion, working women and child rights were all a part of the discussion.  This is not new.  Several years ago, the Southern Baptist convention was roundly criticized because it reaffirmed God’s idea that “Wives should submit to their husbands”.

Both sexual and family roles are hotly debated issues in our society today.  The feminist movement began on the surface to allow women equal access to education, vocation and family support.  It has primarily turned into a fight over abortion, gay rights, and sexual promiscuity.  Last year, the California legislature passed a law making it a crime to fire a man who comes to work dressed as a woman.  We are very confused in our culture today.  This even came to head in the confirmation hears of Judge Alito this past week.  Sen. Kohl from Wisconsin asked a question on Judge Alito’s statement that he believed in basic traditional values.  Sen. Kohl then asked the judge to name several of the traditional values he believed in.  It was an attempt to label him as old-fashioned and out of the mainstream.

What does the Bible teach about the roles of men, women, parents, children, husbands and wives?  In a very concise way, Paul gives us God’s plan.  We read       COLOSSIANS 3:18-4:1        We are only going to look at verse 18 this morning.  Paul writes, “WIVES, BE SUBJECT TO YOUR OWN HUSBANDS, AS IS FITTING TO THE LORD”.  Just a reminder, our standard is not the New York Times, Gallup Poll, or even the Vatican.  Our standard is God’s word.  Some of what I say this morning may go cross current to what you have believed and even behaved.  We do not have cameras in your home.  We do not require you to do it our way, or no way.  Our role is to teach you God’s word and try to convince you that God’s way is best.

Before we get started on this passage, let’s understand that men and women are very different.  This was one of the weakest points in the feminist movement; the belief that men and women were basically the same.  Physically they are different.  Emotionally they are different.  Here is one man’s view of the differences.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants; a woman will pay $2 for a $1 item she doesn’t want.

A woman worries about the future until she finds a husband; a man never worries about the future

until he finds a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can ever spend; a successful woman

is one who finds such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little; to be happy with a

woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Any married man should forget his mistakes; there is no use in two people remembering the same             thing.

A woman marries a man thinking he will change, but he doesn’t; a man marries a woman thinking            she won’t change and she does.

A woman always has the last word in an argument.  Anything said after that is the first words of the           next argument. 

There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman; before marriage and after marriage.

                                    John Maxwell,  Winning with People Page 181, 182

Let’s see what God has in store for a godly wife.

FIRST, WE SEE THE PERVERSION OF SUBMISSION.  This shows up in many different ways, but it usually falls into a “men are smart and women are dumb” attitude.  As we shall see, this is not only a silly belief, it is contrary to what the Bible teaches.  Let me mention several accepted positions that are not true.

1)  Women are inferior to men.  Men and women were both created by God as equal before him.  We read            GAL. 3:28             In the eyes of God, we are all the same.  God does not have favorites.  You are not “more blessed” because you are a male.

2)  Women are to submit to men.  There are no passages that teach the submission of women to men.  The issue is roles in the family.

3)  Women should make no major decisions.  Any man who makes all of the decisions deserves all  of the problems that come his way.

            4)  Wives need to submit to husbands.  Again, it is a family relationship.  A wife is only obligated to submit to the husband to whom she is married.

5)       Men are always right.  We know this is not true.

            6)   Paul was simply catering to the culture.  The culture did not teach the submission of women, it taught the subjugation of women.  Men could do whatever they wanted and women had no rights.  It was Christianity that elevated women into first class citizens. 

            SECOND, WE SEE THE PLAN OF SUBMISSION.  When we read this passage, “WIVES SUBMIT…” it is very easy to wonder what God had in mind.  Some come to the conclusion that is it the task of women to submit and men to boss.  That is not true.  There is a matching passage in Ephesians 5.  We read,         EPH. 5:22         Does that sound familiar?  Let’s read the verse just before this passage.  We read                     EPH. 5:18-21     The verse before “WIVES SUBMIT” tells every believer to submit.  Here is what Paul is trying to communicate.  Every believer is to have a submissive attitude.  A wife manifests that attitude by submitting to her husband.  We will see next week how a husband manifests this attitude. 

            What does it mean to submit?  It comes from a military term meaning, “To put your self under”.  When we think of this idea, it often comes out as a drill sergeant and a private.  While it may be applied this way, it does not mean this.  A better application would be the president of the United States and the Joint Chiefs of staff.  Who is the Commander in Chief?  Who makes the final decision?  However, what is the relationship?  The president understands his joint chiefs know more than he does in certain areas.  He will go into a meeting and primarily ask questions.  What do we know?  What do you recommend?  How can we accomplish this task?  He treats his joint chiefs with respect and honor and relies on their expert opinions to help make a wise decision. 

            Just a note to help explain why submission is not inferiority.  We read              LUKE 2:51, 52          There will come a day when Joseph and Mary will bow at the feet of Jesus.  However, in the home even Jesus had to submit to His parents.

            THIRD, WE SEE THE PURPOSE.  Why would God require that the wife take a submissive position in the marriage relationship?  To answer that question, we have to go all the way back to the beginning.  We read                     GENESIS 3                  You remember the story.  God created the world and put Adam in charge.  At the end of the creation process, it was seen that Adam needed a counter weight and God created Eve.  Placing them in the Garden of Eden, God only gave one restriction, do not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  We do not know how long the wait was, but Satan tempted Eve, she ate and then enticed Adam to also eat.  The result was God’s judgment on the human race.  The curse on the man was labor, sweat, and weeds.  The curse on the female was pain in childbearing and a very interesting attitude.  We read           GENESIS 3:16b                  What does it mean, “YOUR DESIRE WILL BE FOR YOUR HUSBAND”?  On its own, it sounds like it may have a sexual component.  However, it is no secret that a man’s physical desire is much stronger than that of a woman’s.  The word is used later in the story.  We read  GENESIS 4:6,7  The word “DESIRE” in verse 7 is the same word as found in Gen. 3.  God is warning Cain that he needs to get a grip, or sin will seek to dominate his life. 

            What is the consequence of the curse on a woman?  It is the desire to control her man.  It is built into her DNA.  The result of this is that God helps her control this by requiring that she seek to submit her self to her husband.  We will look at this next week, how this works on a husband.  The final phrase in Genesis 3:16 states that a husband desire is to, “RULE OVER YOU”.  In other words, the husband will try to show he is in control by dominating his wife.  It is built into his DNA.  What is God’s command to him?  God says, “HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIFE…”  Neither of these is natural.  That is why Paul tells us that this is only possible through being controlled by the Holy Spirit.  The purpose for a wife submitting her will to that of her husband is to protect her from her natural inclinations.  The reason a husband is commanded to love his wife is to protect him from his natural inclinations.

            LAST, WE SEE THE PRIORITY OF A WIFE.  After this sermon, I will never be able to run for political office.  What I am about to say is so controversial that it would disqualify most men from political office.  Look at how Paul concludes this verse.  Paul tells us that a wife is to submit to her husband, “AS IS FITTING UNTO THE LORD”.  This is a very interesting word.  It is used in two other places in the New Testament and helps us understand what we are talking about.  We read                       EPHESIANS 5:4; PHILEMON 8  Most of you have headed off to the mall and tried on outfits you wanted to purchase.  Often times you have found a great looking outfit and gone to the salesperson and asked, “Do you have this in my size”?  In other words, you are asking if they have that outfit in a size that fits you.  Sometimes you need to do some alterations.  When you get it back, doesn’t it make you feel great when you try it on and people say, “WOW!  That fits great”.  Why does God call for wives to have a submissive attitude towards their husband?  Because the outside world looks at that and says, “Doesn’t she look lovely.  That attitude fits so nicely on her”. 

            I need to say some things at this point to clarify what I have just said.  There is nothing in this passage which prevents women from being a boss in the job market.  Remember, she is to submit to her husband, not to all men.  The Proverbs 31 woman had extraordinary business skills.  God tells us to model our life after her.  Here is the balance to that.  We read,                   TITUS 2:3-8                  The primary role God plans for a wife, not the only goal, is to be a mother.  Her primary responsibility involves the home.  Obviously if there is divorce, death, or abandonment, that has to be taken into account.  However, even in those situations, the home is the priority.  This passage is used by many churches as the emphasis for their women’s ministry.  It is a good passage to use.  However, the application almost always involves only the women as having the home as a priority.  Did you notice verse 6?  It begins, “LIKEWISE…YOUNG MEN”.  The word likewise means, “In the same way”.  Just as younger women are to have an attitude that honors God, so younger men must have that same attitude.  A man’s priority must also be his family and his home.  The distant, absentee, work-aholic man is just as much a violation of God’s plan as is a rebellious woman.

            We live in a world of disposable families.  Some of you are the product of those families.  Tragically, that attitude is often manifested in the church.  It is our task to hold the standard high, to offer forgiveness where violated and to instruct those in our midst to seek as there goal God’s standards.  It is only in seeking after those standards that we will bring His blessings on our life.

This message is from the teaching ministry of Glen Jackson, Pastor of Faith Christian Church in Simi Valley, CA.